I believe in a world where people will stop trying to conform to societal norms. Stop trying to be someone else! As tired and overused as that sounds, STOP! It’s so not worth putting others before your happiness. I envision a world where individuality is accepted and embraced rather than conformity. I’ve noticed nowadays that the value of one’s happiness isn’t as important as looking like what society thinks you should look like. As someone with Autism who masks myself, so I don’t seem as different, it was so difficult to embrace myself for who I truly am. Embracing myself came with time and an abundance of internal patience. Not to sound cliché, but patience truly is a virtue. The concept of patience isn’t one to be taken lightly. I was called ugly by my peers as a kid, which at 8, 9, and 10 years old is a lot to handle. I carried that for years after, and I still do.

Once I reached my pre-teen and teen years, I became obsessed with wanting to change myself. For example, my acne and the extra bone growth around the bridge of my nose. Those were two of my biggest insecurities, and I even considered getting the excess bone growth removed simply because I hated how it looked, and I thought people would make fun of it. It’s become something I love now. And my acne? I don’t love it, but it’s not something that I stress over intensely anymore. Once I stopped being so insecure about those two things, I became more insecure about my body in general. TikTok was super popular, making me incredibly insecure about my body. I wanted to look like what I would see on my phone, which was ridiculous. I once again wanted to be perfect. I wanted the perfect skin, the perfect body. Still, like my autism and my nose, it took recognizing the toxicity of social media pressure and a lot of work and patience to learn to embrace my body type and my autism, and in fact, to even love them.

Please stop trying to perfect yourself for the good of others, do it for yourself and only yourself. A good analogy would be getting plastic surgery to please someone, only to regret it for the rest of your life. Don’t put yourself in a mold to prove your worth. Don’t buy something you see everyone trying, knowing it won’t work for you. Don’t straighten curly hair in hopes of it staying straight, (I do have curly hair and identify within the LGBTQ+ community, so this works metaphorically and physically.) I used to straighten my hair, wishing it would stay like that forever. I would then miss my curls and get upset about it. I’ve learned that my hair is unique and not something I am ashamed of anymore. Due to a traumatic time in my life that I don’t talk about, I would be belittled for my curly hair and have to be forced to get it cut short (which always made it look worse.) Now, I love my hair, and it’s become something I protect and cherish. As vain as it sounds, I could never part with my hair; if something happened to it, it would feel like a part of me was gone. 

Don’t pull yourself apart like string cheese, only to be consumed by what the rest of the world wants. I never try to hide my queerness unless I am being self-protective or private. Instead, I embrace it, and I thrive. The world isn’t the most inclusive place, but it needs to be. We preach about individuality and not being the same as everyone else. However, how are we supposed to do that when the same people promoting individuality also strive for conformity? It doesn’t make any sense! We live in a world where when something good comes into play, and the next combo move consists of five power hits to the stomach (I had to make video game references since it’s summer, and I will be hearing my brother play video games all summer.) Individuality is being treated as if it’s an unwanted weed, not a unique flower. Just as the beautiful, ecologically important, and nutritiously beneficial dandelion got unfairly labeled as a weed and an enemy to the American lawn. We need our flowers to flourish, not die off. 

I want to create a platform that promotes inclusivity within the communities I’ve found myself in. I want to show people it’s okay to live their truths and not be afraid or apologetic. I live most of my life unapologetically, and I strive to live the rest entirely unapologetically. It’s okay to have moments where I falter; we all have those moments. If I falter, it’s okay, to be honest, and get back up. Get back up and conquer the world. It’s also okay to take a moment and let it sink in. Don’t feel like you have to conquer every moment of every single day. Society wants us to be on the go 24/7, and I want people to feel their emotions and take their time. I used to yearn to be a star, but who wants to be a big ball of flaming gas that there are trillions of. Why not become something we have one of? The sun. Be the sun! To quote Sandra Oh’s character from “Grey’s Anatomy,” Christina Yang, “Don’t let what he needs eclipse what you need…he is not the sun. You are.” Tell yourself you are the sun, strive to be the brightest entity. 

Do what you want, and don’t let ANYONE tell you otherwise! Most motivational speakers would say about life choices, “Do it for you!” Do look back, do take your time, do become your most authentic you. Be abstract, break out of the box you feel stuck in, and write down your dreams. Spend your time cherishing your happiness; I’m doing the same. Make life your song, write your melody, and be what you want the world to know. Be what the world doesn’t want to know because that makes it even better.